Words in Red: John 4:50

John 4:50: “Go, your son will live.”

There are so many things that I need to have restored to life.  Jesus, please resurrect relationships that have had the life sucked out of them through misunderstandings, judgment, and pride.  Please resurrect joy and passion for the pursuits that I am engaged in and the responsibilities that I must tend to.

And Lord God Almighty, Tender Healer, please heal my heart as I grieve the end of the season of my life called Motherhood.  Not only did this season come to an end way more quickly than I was prepared for it to, but I feel ripped off from the years of enjoyment that I always dreamed I would have.

I didn’t plan on a divorce tearing away my ability to be a stay-at-home mother and homeschooler.  I dreamed of raising my children in a home where we all loved the Lord and served Him as a family.  And while You provided so miraculously for me through those years, I am still grieving the fact that I didn’t get to really enjoy the childhoods of my youngest two children.  Their childhood years are a blur because of everything we were going through as a family, my emotional state at the time and the overall busyness of being a single mom of four kids.

I loved being a stay-at-home mom and I feel like my dreams of how I would raise my kids and the memories we would make were stolen from me.  And I can’t get those years back. Lord, do You have words of healing for my heart?  I need Your Word to come and be a salve for this wound that won’t stop festering and haunting me when I am most vulnerable.

The Lord replies:

“The threshing floors will be filled with grain; the vats will overflow with new wine and oil. I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten – the great locust, and the young locust…and the locust swarms…You will have plenty to eat until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord Your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed.”

I stand today and declare, “LIVE!” to my relationships, my finances, my ministry, my character, thought-life, motivations, passions and words. Lord, renew and restore me from the inside out!  I praise the name of the Lord my God who has worked wonders for me. In this moment, I choose to walk in gratitude and shut down the voice of shame and loss.

Now you:

  • Have you had dreams die that are causing you to grieve?
    • Maybe you lost a loved one or a marriage.
    • Maybe you have a relationship that seems dead right now and you can’t imagine how it can be restored.
    • Maybe you have had a set back in your health and you feel like a victim of your body’s limitations.
  • Do those pains of grief seem to surface in an overwhelming way when you are most vulnerable?

Some dreams cannot be restored to life in the way we would like.  For me, I can’t get my children’s childhood years back. But what can be restored is my perspective on those years and on my present ability to be in their lives.  The Lord is showing me that there were more great memories than I tend to recall when I’m allowing my mind to be negative and depressed.  He is showing me that my kids and I are all still alive and kicking, so it’s not Game Over in my relationship with my them.  They may not be small and I may not have had the experience of motherhood that I imagined I would, but I still have opportunities in front of me to enjoy them as friends and adults and eventually to enjoy grandchildren, if that opportunity comes. Living in what didn’t turn out the way I wanted it to or mulling over the hopes that were dashed only makes me powerless today. Tomorrow is going to find me stronger if I can be grateful for what I have today and allow the Lord to heal the places in my heart that hurt.

I encourage you, if you are grieving over something or someone that was taken from you either through your own choices, someone else’s choices or just the challenges of life, bring it to the Lord and ask Him to speak to you about it.  Have your Bible and a pen handy and wait for His voice.  Record what He says.  You will be amazed at the healing that His words will bring as they are spoken specifically to you and to your pain.

And get rest!  Sleep-deprived people make lousy spiritual warriors!

 

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