I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook.
I love the way I feel connected on some level with so many people who otherwise would fade into oblivion in my life if it weren’t for their posts.
I LOVE Facebook on my birthday. I’m a HUGE birthday person and the fact that as an adult my birthday has become a non-issue really tweaks me. So when I can check Facebook throughout the day and see so many people wish me Happy Birthday, I feel incredibly loved in a way that I never felt prior to social media.
But I dislike Facebook for more violent reasons. I dislike the way it ignites a part of me that I try to stifle and starve. That part of me is the petty, jealous, insecure, comparing side of me. On Facebook we all post our best pictures and un-tag ourselves from the worst ones. We post our perfect, edited lives while everyone who is reading our posts is in the middle of their mediocre day probably dealing with the latest crisis.
I’m sure most of you are also familiar with Pinterest, which, for some reason, doesn’t inspire the same jealous, pettiness in me. But are you familiar with the site Pinterest Fail? It’s actually called, Pinterest Fail, Where Good Intentions Come to Die. I love that! That’s a site where the rest of us who aren’t perfect chefs or full-on crafters show off what happened when we tried to copy what someone else created – and it bombed.
But what I’m waiting for is Facebook Fail. What would that site look like, you ask? Ha! It would be where I would have posted a picture of my divorce paperwork with the comment, “Yes, this just happened. I failed at my marriage – the most important relationship of my life. Yup, I wrecked it.”
Or I could post a candid of one of my kids and I in a heated “discussion” or a picture of their back as they walk out the door just before slamming it. I would add the comment, “Obviously stink at parenting. Any tips?”
Or I could post a picture of my husband and I sitting next to each other not talking because we had friction and can’t seem to get past it at that moment. The post could read, “Feeling stubborn.”
Or I could post a selfie of me alone in my room crying over all of the mistakes I have made and can’t undo. Would that get 100 Likes on Facebook? It would on Facebook Fail.
Because Facebook Fail would be where our False Identity Goes to Die.
No more editing. No more choosing the perfect, stellar moments to post and leaving everyone thinking that this is just the tip of the iceberg of our Stepford Lives.
I don’t know about you, but the older I get, the more I want to shout from the rooftops, “I’m a hot mess! I don’t have all the answers I thought I had in my 20’s and 30’s. I’m not where I thought I would be by now. But I’m more comfortable with my flaws and weaknesses than I ever have been. And I am more convinced today than ever that it’s NOT my performance or fabulous choices that cause God to love me. He has a love that I don’t understand but want to emulate. He has an acceptance of me that transcends good days and bad days. He has a way of looking right through me and seeing good that I can’t see.”
So I guess this blog is the closest to a rooftop that I’m going to get. This is my rooftop moment.
I love the Lord. He loves me. He speaks to me even when I’m acting like a spoiled brat. He is changing me from the inside out. And I marvel every day at how He answers the cries of my heart in a timing and in a way that I could never have scripted more perfectly.
If you don’t know this love that takes you just as you are, I pray with all of my heart that you will give Him a chance. Cast aside your preconceived notions of “religion” and ask Jesus to show up as He is. You wouldn’t want people to write you off based upon gossip that they had heard about you. So don’t write Jesus off until you have made the effort to get to know Him.
And if you know Him yet you still get all tied up in shame, regret and insecurity, I would encourage you to dare to be real. No one can pull a skeleton out of your closet when you’ve already posted his picture on Facebook Fail!
Have a wonderful day enjoying the freedom of being fully you, fully adored!
- Do you struggle with perfectionism?
- Do you feel driven by the need to do everything right and be what everyone needs you to be?
- Is it hard to accept criticism?
- Are you your own worst critic?
- Are you painfully aware of everything you don’t do right but you get instant amnesia about your successes?
- Do you struggle with laziness?
- Do you avoid starting projects that you feel are too challenging because you are afraid that you will do a mediocre or poor job?
These are all signs of the performance trap. I’m not a psychologist and there are entire books written on this topic. All I know is that the Lord offers us freedom from the tyranny of constantly failing to live up to our ridiculous expectations and from comparing our abilities and resources to those of others. It’s a terrible way to live and God has designed a better way.
His way is to show us that He loves us just as we are and that He has created us as a unique person to bless this earth where we are. Just like George Bailey had to learn in the movie, It’s a Wonderful Life, there are people in our world whose lives wouldn’t be the same if you weren’t born. You impact many around you with love and kindness.
And when we lean on the Lord and ask Him to remake our motivations from the inside out, we can love people and impact them for unselfish reasons – and it feels incredible! Being free from the slave driver of self (as gradually as that happens) is the best freedom of all!
Ask Jesus to show you Who He is and how He loves you and He will do it. I promise. He always answers when He is called.